is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
