I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
