I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
