im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
