Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
