great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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