the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
