I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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