Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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