When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
