My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
