yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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