I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What a dumb baby whore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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