You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
