I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
