My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
