I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize