Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
