i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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