with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
