just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
