im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
