when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Come share oat with me in your robe
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
