Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
