Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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