She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
