Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
