we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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