I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
