Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
