The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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