to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
me + whiskey = a bad person
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
