one might say we're banned from that church
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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