idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize