Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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