god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
