Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i came on her dog
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
