she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
