my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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