I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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