I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
