Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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