quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My ass is underappreciated
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
