Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
