I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
