Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
