I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
