I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
