turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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