And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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