remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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