Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
