So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize