U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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