I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize