she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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