How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He passed out mid-signature
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
