I didn't shave. On purpose
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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