I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize