Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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