I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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