he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
