1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
